One of the best parts of wealth is the ability to create amazing memories through family vacations. When your kids are little, these trips are often nothing but positive—time for bonding, exploring new places, and making memories that last a lifetime. But when your kids reach early adulthood, these same vacations can unintentionally hold them back. Parents often don’t realize that family vacations, no matter how well-meaning, can clash with the skills and habits young adults need to develop independence and grow professionally.

Misaligned Incentives in Early Adulthood

Early adulthood is a tricky time. It’s when young adults are figuring out their first jobs, managing their own schedules, and trying to establish independence. These moments are crucial for learning resilience and self-reliance. A fully planned and paid-for family vacation during this stage can accidentally reinforce dependence rather than help them grow. Plus, expecting them to prioritize family trips over their work commitments can make it harder for them to build habits like reliability and time management—key traits for long-term success.

Let’s Face It: A Lavish Vacation Is More Fun Than an Entry-Level Job

It’s hard to compete with a luxurious family vacation when the alternative is a low-paying, tedious entry-level job. Young adults may undervalue these roles, but parents can fall into this mindset too, especially if they see their high-stakes schedules as more important than their child’s work commitments. The truth is, while these jobs may seem insignificant, they’re the foundation of your child’s professional future.

Research in the Journal of Vocational Behavior shows that these early jobs are critical for building skills, proving dependability, and establishing a network (Rosenberg et al., 2016). Missing work—or worse, quitting for a vacation—creates resume gaps that can stall career growth. These gaps don’t just hurt their professional opportunities; they can also delay their journey toward independence. Young adults may quit their jobs (or even worse never get one).

Why Parents’ Schedules May Seem More Important Than the Child’s

Planning family vacations can feel overwhelming, especially for successful parents juggling high-pressure careers. It’s easy to think your schedule should take precedence over your child’s, especially when their job feels less critical. But even if their entry-level role seems trivial, it’s foundational. These early jobs teach responsibility, accountability, and perseverance—qualities that are critical for future success. If you dismiss these commitments, you may unintentionally send the message that their growth isn’t as important, holding them back from building the skills they need for self-sufficiency.

How Coaching Can Help

In our experience, many parents simply don’t realize how family vacations can impact their child’s development. The natural power imbalance of wealth, combined with a desire to keep family traditions alive, often leads to decisions that work against the long-term growth of young adults. Coaching helps parents understand these dynamics, communicate better, and align family decisions with their core values. With the right tools, you can adapt traditions to meet your young adult’s needs while keeping the connection and joy that make family vacations special.

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Sources:

- Arnett, J. J. (2000). "Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties." Emerging Adulthood, 1(1), 469-480.

- Rosenberg, S., et al. (2016). "Navigating early career demands: Challenges for young adults." Journal of Vocational Behavior, 93(4), 45-52.