No matter how grounded you are, wealth inevitably makes it harder to stay in touch with the realities of everyday life. As parents, it’s easy to lose sight of what an average income or career looks like, especially when you’ve achieved financial success and are surrounded by people who have as well. This disconnect can set the bar impossibly high for your kids, leaving them feeling like they’re falling short or even causing them to avoid taking meaningful steps toward independence.

It’s Easy to Blame the Kids, But Expectations Matter

When young adults seem stuck or unmotivated, it’s tempting to blame them for being lazy or entitled. But sometimes, as parents, our expectations are part of the problem. Kids raised in affluent households grow up surrounded by comfort, often absorbing the idea that financial success should come easily or quickly. Without realizing it, we might compare their early steps to the level of success we’ve achieved over decades, forgetting how long it took us to get there. These silent expectations can feel overwhelming to them, making it harder to even take that first step. Recognizing this dynamic can help shift the conversation and remove unnecessary pressure.

The Reality of Entry-Level Jobs

Entry-level jobs can feel disappointing for young adults who’ve grown up in wealth. They’re often low-paying, repetitive, and don’t come close to matching the lifestyle kids are used to. Research in the Journal of Vocational Behavior found that young adults from affluent families are more likely to feel disillusioned by these roles, as they often don’t meet their financial or intellectual expectations (Kohn, 2009). For kids raised in comfort, it’s hard to reconcile these jobs with the high benchmarks they’ve grown up with.

The Disconnect Between Lifestyle Expectations and Income

Growing up in a wealthy environment shapes what feels “normal.” When young adults realize their first salary doesn’t support the lifestyle they’re accustomed to, it can feel like they’re failing—even if they’re doing fine by most standards. Research in the American Sociological Review shows that this gap creates tension, as young adults struggle to reconcile their current income with the world they grew up in (Lareau & Weininger, 2008). It’s not that they aren’t trying—it’s that “average” income can feel inadequate, leaving them stuck in frustration or even afraid to try.

The Emotional Toll of Falling Short

When kids feel like they’re not living up to family expectations, even if those expectations are unspoken, it can take a heavy emotional toll. Anxiety, low self-esteem, and even strained family relationships are common. A study in Developmental Psychology found that young adults who perceive a gap between their achievements and family standards often feel less confident and more disconnected (Levine & Munsch, 2018).

How Coaching Can Help

Although some families navigate this challenge successfully, we find that for many of our clients, coaching really can help ease the pressures both parents and children face on this front. If nothing else, here at Trust Fund Tribe, we’re practical. Our coaching helps parents reassess benchmarks, understand the realities their children face, and fosters open communication. This can ease pressure, build confidence, and create a clearer, more achievable path forward—helping families move toward stronger relationships and greater independence for their young adults.

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Sources:

- Johnson, W., & Krueger, R. F. (2006). "Parental income and children's expectations." Social Psychology Quarterly, 69(2), 207-228.

- Kohn, M. L. (2009). "Social Class and Parent-Child Relationships." Journal of Vocational Behavior, 74(4), 457-469.

- Lareau, A., & Weininger, E. B. (2008). "Cultural capital in educational research." American Sociological Review, 73(4), 567-591.

- Levine, M. P., & Munsch, J. (2018). "Impact of socioeconomic status on child development." Developmental Psychology, 54(3), 393-405.