Wealth doesn’t just provide comfort and opportunities; it changes your relationship with your child. Whether you like it or not, your financial position puts you in a unique place of power. This isn’t inherently good or bad, but it shapes how your child relates to you in ways you might not notice. Think about how you speak to a boss compared to a coworker—it’s different because the power dynamics are different. The same thing happens in wealthy families, where your financial control can make open, honest communication with your child more difficult.

How Power Dynamics Are Different in Wealthy Families

If you’re wealthy, your financial role gives you influence that middle-class parents usually do not experience. You control resources—college tuition, lifestyle support, inheritances—and your child knows that. This dynamic can affect how they interact with you, whether it’s hesitating to express themselves honestly or adjusting their behavior to meet your expectations. Let’s explore how these dynamics can work against you—and how they can work for you.

Disadvantages: Unequal Power Dynamics and Poor Communication

The power that comes with financial control can unintentionally create barriers between you and your child. When children feel that their financial security is tied to your approval, they may avoid being honest about their thoughts, struggles, or aspirations. It’s natural—they don’t want to jeopardize what they rely on. Research shows that these dynamics often lead to poor communication in affluent families, where kids feel less comfortable expressing themselves (Luthar & Barkin, 2012). This can foster a culture of secrecy, with your child presenting a version of themselves they think you want to see, rather than who they truly are. Over time, this lack of openness can erode trust and lead to feelings of resentment on both sides.

Advantages: Strategic Use of Financial Influence

On the flip side, your financial power is an incredible tool—if you use it wisely. You have the ability to open doors for your child, support their growth, and help them explore their potential. However, the key is setting clear boundaries and having open conversations about how and why resources are being used. Research shows that when financial support is paired with clear expectations, it fosters independence and resilience in children (Kasser & Ahuvia, 2008). Without those boundaries, though, support can lead to entitlement or dependency. The goal is to use your influence to empower your child, not control them, which requires honest dialogue and a shared understanding of your values and intentions.

Why Proper Coaching is so Important

Honestly, in our experience, most parents are unaware of how much the power they hold affects their relationship with their child. Wealth actually makes having a healthy relationship with your child harder not easier. Understanding this and the barriers wealth creates to open communication, is often the first step in breaking through the many taboos around wealth that cause families to fight. We here at Trust Fund Tribe understand this, and some of the most powerful work we do is help get parents and their children on the same page, so they can work as a team, instead of two parties with opposing interests

—————

Sources:

- Luthar, S. S., & Barkin, S. H. (2012). "Are affluent youth truly 'at risk'?" Developmental Psychology, 24(2), 619-649.

- Kasser, T., & Ahuvia, A. (2008). "Materialistic values and well-being in business students." Journal of Adolescence, 31(2), 243-260.