If you’re a parent in a affluent family, you’ve likely struggled with this: how do you help your child develop motivation when life’s challenges are softened? It’s a question we hear all the time because it’s one of the biggest—and hardest—challenges affluent families face. Motivation doesn’t come easily when the usual pressures to work, earn, or solve problems aren’t part of daily life.

Why Motivation Is So Elusive

Motivation usually grows from necessity—overcoming obstacles, working toward goals, or solving problems. In wealthy families, those challenges are often removed or softened. It’s natural to want to help your child by stepping in or providing resources, but over time, that support can limit their chances to build resilience and self-reliance. Research shows that people who experience frequent challenges are more likely to develop strong intrinsic motivation (Sheldon et al., 2014). Without those experiences, it’s much harder for kids to find that internal drive.

It’s Not Laziness

It’s easy to look at a lack of motivation and call it laziness, but that’s not the full story. Kids who grow up without needing to push themselves often don’t feel the urgency to act. This isn’t a character flaw—it’s a natural outcome of their environment. Research shows that many wealthy young adults don’t develop strong motivation until later in life, once they face challenges without family support (Deci et al., 2019).

There’s No Quick Fix

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone, and it’s not something you can fix overnight. Motivation takes time to grow, especially when kids haven’t had many opportunities to struggle or solve problems on their own. It’s a long process, and it requires patience and intention. It’s also not always obvious to parents when they are making mistakes. Here at Trust Fund Tribe we can help you assess whether the decisions you are making are actually in the long-term interest of your child.

Sources

• Sheldon, K. M., Prentice, M., & Halusic, M. (2014). "The potential of 'being here now': A pragmatic approach to goal-setting." Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(5), 652-665.

• Kasser, T., & Ahuvia, A. (2008). "Materialistic values and well-being in business students." Journal of Adolescence, 31(2), 243-260.

• Deci, E. L., Ryan, R. M., & Williams, G. C. (2019). "Need satisfaction and the self-regulation of learning." Developmental Psychology, 55(6), 1331-1340.